Watching Doctor Who this weekend I was reminded of an on spec script I wrote a couple of years back and submitted (without success) to one of the Dr Who mags. Thought it would be interesting go reproduce it here… The TRUE origin of Davros!
DAVE OF THE DALEKS
By David Barnett
1: Interior of a kitchen in a modest, contemporary home. We can see a toaster with a couple of bread slices smoking merrily away, and a frying pan in which a fried egg and some bacon slices are sizzling. Besides the cooker, on the worktop, is a roughly-constructed Heath Robinson-esque box of gears and wheels, with a digital timer strapped to it, at about five seconds to zero. From the box there is a kitchen spatula on a Meccano-style arm, poised over the eggs. We can’t see any people around.
CAPTION: Earth. The West Midlands. Early 21st Century. Breakfast-time.
2: A similar scene, but the camera has pulled back to show a door into the kitchen, which is slowly opening. In the foreground we see DAVE, in his twenties, slightly dishevelled, with an expectant look on his face. The clock reads just one second to go. From behind the door KATE, Dave’s girlfriend, is speaking.
KATE (off panel): Dave? Dave, I need to get off to work. Did you get my…
3: Close up on the oven. The timer has hit zero. The toast is popping up out of the toaster and a mechanical arm from the scrappy invention is holding out a plate to catch it. The spatula has dug into the frying pan and is tossing the eggs up and outwards – their velocity and angle is far beyond where they should obviously be going.
4: The door has opened and Kate is standing there. She is the same age as Dave, pretty, wearing office attire. She is also wearing the two fried eggs, dripping down her face, which is not the face of a loving partner.
KATE (shouts): Dave!!!
5: Dave is hunched over the machine on the work surface, tongue sticking out in concentration, wielding a screwdriver. Behind him, Kate is wiping the egg from her face.
DAVE: … need to adjust the spring mechanism… I’ll put you some more eggs on…
KATE: Don’t bother! I’m going to work! Can you just pack it in with these stupid inventions!
6: Close up on Dave, still hunched over the device, looking up as he hears the doorbell go.
SFX: Ding dong!
DAVE: Kate must’ve left her bag again. Hang on, I’m…
1: Big panel showing Dave from inside the house, opening the front door. We are behind him but if we can see his face it’s shock and horror as he realises it isn’t Kate at all, but three huge JUDOON who fill the entire doorway, armed to the teeth. They probably aren’t wearing any helmets to emphasise their alienness.
JUDOON #1: David Ross of Earth… you have been sentenced… to death!
2: Dave has slammed the door and is standing with his back against it, utterly agog.
DAVE: Oh my… oh my… giant rhinos want to kill me…
3: Dave running towards us down the short hall as the door splinters behind him, revealing the shapes of the Judoon.
DAVE: Oh no… Kate’s only just painted that door…
4: Dave is poised at an open internal door that leads down some steps to his cellar. There is a familiar sound coming up the stairs that he’s just too freaked out to notice.
JUDOON #1 (off panel) The accused flees! Sentence shall be escalated!
DAVE: Escalated? What’s worse than death? I’ll hide in the cellar…
SFX: Vworp! Vworp!
5: Almost an all black panel, save for Dave striking a match in the darkness of the cellar, illuminating his face.
DAVE: What have I done? I’ve locked myself in the cellar and there are monsters trashing the house…
VOICE (off panel): Monsters, did you say?
1: Shot from a worm’s eye view behind Dave’s back, we see him holding up the match that illuminates a cellar filled with junk, worktables, bits of mechanical devices, half-baked inventions… and at the centre of it all, the TARDIS, with the ELEVENTH DOCTOR stepping out of it.
DOCTOR: Monsters, eh? Well it’s a jolly good job that I’m here. Monsters are my speciality.
2: Dave and the Doctor standing face to face, the Tardis in the background.
DAVE: Who are you? What’s that? What are you doing in my cellar?
DOCTOR: Perhaps we can get to know each other better later. Why don’t you tell me about the monsters?
3: Dave has his head in his hands. The Doctor has pulled out a flashlight which he’s using to illuminate his face in the style of an old horror movie.
DAVE: They’re like… like walking tanks. With rhino heads. They’re horrible. They said they were going to kill me.
DOCTOR: Rhino heads? The Judoon? Oh dear. Have you been a naughty boy… what’s your name, anyway?
4: The Doctor is training his flashlight on the stairs up to the door, Dave cowering behind him.
DOCTOR: Have you been a naughty boy, Dave? Because the Judoon are intergalactic policemen. And what’s all this stuff down here?
5: Shot from the street outside. Outside the modest terraced house there is a van parked. It says on the side: XTERMIN8 – MAKE YOUR PEST PROBLEMS HISTORY.
CAPTION: “This is my workshop. I’m an inventor. Well, I’m a pest controller, really, but I like to invent things in my spare time.”
6: Back in the cellar, the Doctor is rubbing his chin. Dave is looking up at the Tardis.
DOCTOR: Hmm. I think we’d better go and have a chat to the Judoon. There must be some sort of mistake…
DAVE: What is this thing? How did you get it in the cellar?
DOCTOR: Hmm? Oh, that’s the Tardis. She travels in space and time.
DAVE: Space and time..? A time machine..?
1: Shot of the living room. The Judoon have made a bit of a mess of it. They are standing around, handling things, scanning the TV set with hand-held devices. The three of them are turning as the Doctor pops his head around the door, with a frightened Dave just visible behind him.
DOCTOR: Hullo. You can’t tell me the way to Wolverhampton, can you? It’s just they always say ask a policeman…
2: The Judoon leader is standing in front of the Doctor, training his scanner on him.
JUDOON #1: You are in our files. You are the last Gallifreyan, code-named The Doctor. Your appearance is… different.
DOCTOR: Yes, well, a change is as good as a rest, isn’t it? Now suppose you tell me what all this is about…
3: The Judoon leader points at Dave. The others are shouldering stubby black blaster rifles.
JUDOON #1: The Earthling has been ajudged guilty. Justice must be swift. The sentence is death.
DAVE: Is this about parking on double yellow lines the other day? Because I was only five minutes…
4: The Doctor interposing himself between Dave and the Judoon, holding up his hands for calm.
DOCTOR: Yes, what exactly is his crime? He’s a pest controller. Did he kill some rats that were friends of yours?
5: Close up of the Judoon leader.
JUDOON #1: His crime? His crime is that he… created the Daleks!
1: The Doctor is laughing, Dave behind him.
DOCTOR: Daleks? You think this chap from… Wolverhampton?
DOCTOR: You think this chap from Dudley in the year 2013 created the greatest threat the universe has ever seen?
2: The Judoon leader crosses his arms a little petulantly.
JUDOON #1: That is our information…
DOCTOR: Well, your information is wrong this time. I happen to know a few things about the creation of the Daleks. I was there…
3: The Judoon leader puts his hands on his hips, towering over Dave and the Doctor.
JUDOON #1: You wish to defend the accused? Then let us hear your testimony.
4: Panel shows half the Doctor’s face melting into a flash-back sequence. The panel shows the distant, alien world of Skaro, the shining city of the Kaleds rising up from an irradiated wasteland.
CAPTION: “The Daleks were created on Skaro, far away in space and time from here.”
5: Shot of one of the classic Dalek casings.
CAPTION: “They were designed to be armoured engines of destruction for the mutated Kaled race…”
6: Portrait of the dreaded Davros
CAPTION: “…by the megalomaniac scientist Davros!”
1: Back in the living room, Dave is tugging on the Doctor’s coat. As the Judoon listen impassively.
DAVE: So this isn’t about parking tickets, then?
DOCTOR: …So, you see, it is temporally and physically impossible for this human to have had any part in the creation of the Daleks…
2: The Judoon looking a little dubious, if a rhino-headed alien can do that.
JUDOON #1: But our intelligence…
3: Doctor is looking a little annoyed now.
DOCTOR: Your intelligence is wrong. It happens, don’t feel bad. Why, one time a Council Tax demand from Wigan Council fell into a timehole and found its way to the Face of Boe…
4: The Judoon have a conflab in the middle of the room while the Doctor and Dave look on and confer behind their hands.
DAVE: Do you think they believe you?
DOCTOR: They’d better… or you won’t have to worry about explaining that smashed coffee table to your girlfriend.
5: The Judoon leader turns back to Dave and the Doctor.
JUDOON #1: After much deliberation we have decided to accept The Doctor’s testimony. You vouch for this human?
DOCTOR: Completely. What you’re saying is impossible.
JUDOON #1: The defence shall be noted on the human’s file. Sentence is deferred indefinitely.
6: Dave looking around the trashed room.
DAVE: What about this mess? The front door?
JUDOON #1: You may submit a damages claim to our administrative headquarters, filling in forms C5GH8JQ in triplicate and delivering them by hand.
DAVE: By hand? To where?
DOCTOR: The Judoon homeworld is in the Fourth Quadrant. I don’t think buses run from Dudley.
1: In the cellar. The Doctor is in the doorway of the Tardis, Dave standing in the cellar in front of him.
DAVE: They’ve really gone?
DOCTOR: They’ve really gone. Only thing they’ve left behind is the mystery of why they were here at all. I wonder what made them think you were behind the Daleks..?
2: Similar picture, Dave intently scrutinising the Tardis exterior.
DAVE: That and the mess. I’ll have all on to clear it up before Kate gets home.
DAVE: So this is really a time machine? How does it work?
3: View from inside the Tardis, behind the Doctor’s back. Dave is peering in.
DOCTOR: A bit of artron energy, some Zeiton 7, a direct link to the Eye of Harmony… bit advanced for you. I’d stick to perfecting the fried eggs.
4: The Doctor is leaning out of the Tardis, shaking hands with Dave.
DOCTOR: Anyway, I’ll be off. Keep your nose clean and you shouldn’t see those Judoon again. Have a good life, Dave… what is your surname, anyway?
DAVE: It’s Ross. And thank you, whoever you are. I hope we meet again!
5: Interior of the dematerialising Tardis. The Doctor is putting a thoughtful hand to his mouth, arching one eyebrow.
DOCTOR: Ross? Dave Ross? Davros..? No… surely…
SFX: Vworp! Vworp!
6: We are back in the kitchen. Dave’s face is looming over a pair of classic Dalek-shaped salt and pepper pots, he’s rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Off panel, Kate has obviously just arrived home. The pepper pots are in the foreground of the panel…
KATE (off panel) Dave! Dave! What’s happened to the front door..?
DAVE: In here… You know, I’ve just had the most amazing idea…